Dear Jenelle,
Your face is a little sunken, your hair is frizzy, and you haven't put on enough clothes to go outside...but you know what? That's ok. You are beautiful and you need to believe that.
I know sometimes it's hard--especially since knocking your tooth out, but you get a pretty tooth in 4 days and then you'll be as good as new. I know it's still going to be hard to consider yourself beautiful even when you have a tooth, even when you have your hair and makeup done, even when you're just as beautiful as everyone else. You have to remember, though, that God created you in His image and that he loves you and thinks you and His other children are the most beautiful creatures on Earth.
Also, you need to remember that aesthetic beauty is not the most important thing. You need to spend less time thinking about your looks and spend more time thinking about your relationships. Be beautiful to someone. Help a friend, smile at someone, genuinely listen to what people are saying to you--then you will be a beauty.
You are very smart, you are silly and cheerful, you are brave and responsible and capable to survive in this world. You also have a lot of help.
Don't forget to bring yourself up. Everything is ok. :D
Love,
Jenelle
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Day 29: Letter to the Person You Want To Tell Everything to, But Are Too Afraid
Dear Mom,
We have been doing a lot better than we ever have been at being friends and I am proud of us. You still get on my nerves and times and I know I get on yours as well.
However, I will never be able to tell you everything and I know that, too. I will never tell you how terrified of you I was, though you think you already know. I am still afraid most of the time, but now I deal with it more effectively. I will never be able to tell you of mistakes I've made and things I've done--not in the past and not recently. I know you won't get me in trouble or whatever, but I know you won't look at me the same either. You'll be disappointed and angry and I won't be able to tell you anything again.
I will never be able to tell you how you've hurt me, though I know I've hurt you, too. You've broken my heart many times, but you should never know that.
I will never be able to tell you that I have wished myself out of your house more times than I can count.
I will never be able to tell you how often I wished I had another mother.
I will never be able to tell you how often I wished you would leave me alone.
I will never be able to tell you how afraid I was that you really would.
You weren't a bad mother and you still aren't. In fact, you've gotten much better since I was young. I've gotten to be a better daughter, I think, as well. Hopefully I have.
I don't mind not telling you these things. Some things are meant to be kept a secret--especially hurtful things that would have no benefit from being told.
Hopefully things continue to look up for us,
Jenelle
We have been doing a lot better than we ever have been at being friends and I am proud of us. You still get on my nerves and times and I know I get on yours as well.
However, I will never be able to tell you everything and I know that, too. I will never tell you how terrified of you I was, though you think you already know. I am still afraid most of the time, but now I deal with it more effectively. I will never be able to tell you of mistakes I've made and things I've done--not in the past and not recently. I know you won't get me in trouble or whatever, but I know you won't look at me the same either. You'll be disappointed and angry and I won't be able to tell you anything again.
I will never be able to tell you how you've hurt me, though I know I've hurt you, too. You've broken my heart many times, but you should never know that.
I will never be able to tell you that I have wished myself out of your house more times than I can count.
I will never be able to tell you how often I wished I had another mother.
I will never be able to tell you how often I wished you would leave me alone.
I will never be able to tell you how afraid I was that you really would.
You weren't a bad mother and you still aren't. In fact, you've gotten much better since I was young. I've gotten to be a better daughter, I think, as well. Hopefully I have.
I don't mind not telling you these things. Some things are meant to be kept a secret--especially hurtful things that would have no benefit from being told.
Hopefully things continue to look up for us,
Jenelle
Day 28: Letter to Someone Who Changed Your Life
Dear Doug and Susie,
Let me begin by thanking you again from the bottom of my heart for handing me this job in a time where jobs are harder to come by than apples on a cornstalk. You have blessed all of your employees with a great, fun job in which we can truly relate to each other as friends and coworkers. Thank you for hiring us even though most of us had no experience. Thank you for hiring us even though we all already know each other. Thank you for hiring us. Thank you.
You are such wonderful people. Your children are such fun to be around. As a sort-of member of your family for a year, I am so fond of all the kids. I love that you play with them and encourage them to be creative and problem solve.
Doug, you have provided me with so many opportunities for growth that I never would have had otherwise. You were the first to offer me a place on stage at church. You were the first to offer me a place to go if I ever needed it. You were the first to offer me a job. I am so grateful to have you in my life. God really did use you to change me.
Susie, you are a hero. 5 kids, a business, a house to clean, pets, church, bands, choirs, sports...I can literally continue this list for a great deal of time. I will never know how you manage to be cheerful and bright all the time after completing so many tasks each day. You made me feel comfortable in your home, dating your son. I never felt judged or worried of what you might think. I look up to you a lot as a mother--you are loving and caring, but strong and persistent in rearing your children.
You two have played a gigantic role in molding me (and the rest of the youth leaders and young adults in the area) into the person I am today. I appreciate you guys for all your hard work and big ideas.
Thank you again.
Jenelle
Let me begin by thanking you again from the bottom of my heart for handing me this job in a time where jobs are harder to come by than apples on a cornstalk. You have blessed all of your employees with a great, fun job in which we can truly relate to each other as friends and coworkers. Thank you for hiring us even though most of us had no experience. Thank you for hiring us even though we all already know each other. Thank you for hiring us. Thank you.
You are such wonderful people. Your children are such fun to be around. As a sort-of member of your family for a year, I am so fond of all the kids. I love that you play with them and encourage them to be creative and problem solve.
Doug, you have provided me with so many opportunities for growth that I never would have had otherwise. You were the first to offer me a place on stage at church. You were the first to offer me a place to go if I ever needed it. You were the first to offer me a job. I am so grateful to have you in my life. God really did use you to change me.
Susie, you are a hero. 5 kids, a business, a house to clean, pets, church, bands, choirs, sports...I can literally continue this list for a great deal of time. I will never know how you manage to be cheerful and bright all the time after completing so many tasks each day. You made me feel comfortable in your home, dating your son. I never felt judged or worried of what you might think. I look up to you a lot as a mother--you are loving and caring, but strong and persistent in rearing your children.
You two have played a gigantic role in molding me (and the rest of the youth leaders and young adults in the area) into the person I am today. I appreciate you guys for all your hard work and big ideas.
Thank you again.
Jenelle
Day 27: Letter To The Friendliest Person You Only Knew For One Day
Tiger,
I guess we met on a few occasions, but the one I really remember is when we were spending the night for Aubrey's birthday. You were very friendly and very welcoming. You seemed genuinely interested in me and I felt comfortable, even in a place where I was a stranger to most.
You asked Bryan and I not to sleep next to each other, which would usually have been uncomfortable, but wasn't. You truly had our best interests in mind, and I appreciate that. I am so glad Bryan was with someone as cheerful, friendly, and fun as you for the summer. Thank you for everything you've done for him. I know he thinks fondly of you, and so do I.
Jenelle
I guess we met on a few occasions, but the one I really remember is when we were spending the night for Aubrey's birthday. You were very friendly and very welcoming. You seemed genuinely interested in me and I felt comfortable, even in a place where I was a stranger to most.
You asked Bryan and I not to sleep next to each other, which would usually have been uncomfortable, but wasn't. You truly had our best interests in mind, and I appreciate that. I am so glad Bryan was with someone as cheerful, friendly, and fun as you for the summer. Thank you for everything you've done for him. I know he thinks fondly of you, and so do I.
Jenelle
Day 26: Letter to the Last Person You Made A Pinky Promise To
I'm not sure who it was, but...
Bryan,
I'm not sure you were the last person I pinky promised, and if it was, I don't know what we pinky promised.
I love you, good day.
Jenelle
Bryan,
I'm not sure you were the last person I pinky promised, and if it was, I don't know what we pinky promised.
I love you, good day.
Jenelle
Day 25: Letter To The Person You Know Is Going Through The Worst Of Times
Dear Yasi,
Look up, girl. You can see the sky from here. Even though you feel like it's a billion miles away, reach out your hands and try to grab it.
You are going through a lot. Your family isn't quite as understanding as you'd like, your boyfriend sometimes isn't either. You are a bit hard on yourself, but you always look to improve yourself. I love you, girl. You are strong and willful and wonderful. You are beautiful and talented and so openhearted I can't even begin to describe.
Because you are so sympathetic to people, I can imagine your feelings are a roller coaster all day, every day. I am proud of you for always keeping yourself together when you have to and always letting it out when you should. I know you think you don't have a right to be sad, but you have the exact same rights everyone else does. You aren't any less than anyone else. I mean it.
I know sometimes it seems that you won't be able to make it through this and that sometimes you feel like this funk will last forever. Don't lose hope. God knows your mother's heart. He knows your sister's and your father's heart, too. But you know what? He knows yours just as well. He knows that you want to be loved and cared for and that you want to love and care for others. He will grant you these things.
I am always here for you. I know it's hard now, but it will get better. :)
Praying for you.
Jenelle
Look up, girl. You can see the sky from here. Even though you feel like it's a billion miles away, reach out your hands and try to grab it.
You are going through a lot. Your family isn't quite as understanding as you'd like, your boyfriend sometimes isn't either. You are a bit hard on yourself, but you always look to improve yourself. I love you, girl. You are strong and willful and wonderful. You are beautiful and talented and so openhearted I can't even begin to describe.
Because you are so sympathetic to people, I can imagine your feelings are a roller coaster all day, every day. I am proud of you for always keeping yourself together when you have to and always letting it out when you should. I know you think you don't have a right to be sad, but you have the exact same rights everyone else does. You aren't any less than anyone else. I mean it.
I know sometimes it seems that you won't be able to make it through this and that sometimes you feel like this funk will last forever. Don't lose hope. God knows your mother's heart. He knows your sister's and your father's heart, too. But you know what? He knows yours just as well. He knows that you want to be loved and cared for and that you want to love and care for others. He will grant you these things.
I am always here for you. I know it's hard now, but it will get better. :)
Praying for you.
Jenelle
Friday, October 1, 2010
Day 24: Letter to the Person Who Gave You Your Favorite Memory
Clearly I am failing the 30 Day Letter Challenge, but whatever. This is for me anyway and I'll at least try to finish it.
Dear Bryan,
I had a lot of trouble with this letter. It took me weeks and weeks to get the drive to write it. I didn't want to sift through all my memories to find my favorite and then ask who gave it to me. But you know what? I don't have to. I know that I am always happiest when I'm with you. You work hard to make me happy and I work to make you happy too. Every time you tell me that you want to marry me, my heart flutters and skips a beat. You are romantic, but practical. You are a real-life Prince Charming, but you are sincere as well as suave.
There is a scene in the last Glee (yes, the Britney Spears one) where Rachel is worried that her boyfriend Finn is going to leave her for the cheerleaders she knows he can get if he wanted to without even trying. The girls are talking to him by his locker and she feels this sense of an impending breakup, but just as you start to worry about them, Finn looks up and sees Rachel standing by her locker and he gets the biggest, most beautiful smile on his face. He walks over to her and grabs her hand and they walk away together.
The only difference in this is that I am not worried that you will break up with me for someone else. Not even a little. It's not that I'm cocky, it's that I know that you can have any girl you want, but you chose me. I trust your decision, even though sometimes I feel that I don't deserve you. I know that no matter what I feel like, you're going to look at me in the eyes, smile, and take my hand because you love me. That's all there is.
So yes, even though it's vague and general and not very interesting, this letter goes to you for every second we spend together.
I love you.
Jenelle
Dear Bryan,
I had a lot of trouble with this letter. It took me weeks and weeks to get the drive to write it. I didn't want to sift through all my memories to find my favorite and then ask who gave it to me. But you know what? I don't have to. I know that I am always happiest when I'm with you. You work hard to make me happy and I work to make you happy too. Every time you tell me that you want to marry me, my heart flutters and skips a beat. You are romantic, but practical. You are a real-life Prince Charming, but you are sincere as well as suave.
There is a scene in the last Glee (yes, the Britney Spears one) where Rachel is worried that her boyfriend Finn is going to leave her for the cheerleaders she knows he can get if he wanted to without even trying. The girls are talking to him by his locker and she feels this sense of an impending breakup, but just as you start to worry about them, Finn looks up and sees Rachel standing by her locker and he gets the biggest, most beautiful smile on his face. He walks over to her and grabs her hand and they walk away together.
The only difference in this is that I am not worried that you will break up with me for someone else. Not even a little. It's not that I'm cocky, it's that I know that you can have any girl you want, but you chose me. I trust your decision, even though sometimes I feel that I don't deserve you. I know that no matter what I feel like, you're going to look at me in the eyes, smile, and take my hand because you love me. That's all there is.
So yes, even though it's vague and general and not very interesting, this letter goes to you for every second we spend together.
I love you.
Jenelle
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