Clearly I am failing the 30 Day Letter Challenge, but whatever. This is for me anyway and I'll at least try to finish it.
Dear Bryan,
I had a lot of trouble with this letter. It took me weeks and weeks to get the drive to write it. I didn't want to sift through all my memories to find my favorite and then ask who gave it to me. But you know what? I don't have to. I know that I am always happiest when I'm with you. You work hard to make me happy and I work to make you happy too. Every time you tell me that you want to marry me, my heart flutters and skips a beat. You are romantic, but practical. You are a real-life Prince Charming, but you are sincere as well as suave.
There is a scene in the last Glee (yes, the Britney Spears one) where Rachel is worried that her boyfriend Finn is going to leave her for the cheerleaders she knows he can get if he wanted to without even trying. The girls are talking to him by his locker and she feels this sense of an impending breakup, but just as you start to worry about them, Finn looks up and sees Rachel standing by her locker and he gets the biggest, most beautiful smile on his face. He walks over to her and grabs her hand and they walk away together.
The only difference in this is that I am not worried that you will break up with me for someone else. Not even a little. It's not that I'm cocky, it's that I know that you can have any girl you want, but you chose me. I trust your decision, even though sometimes I feel that I don't deserve you. I know that no matter what I feel like, you're going to look at me in the eyes, smile, and take my hand because you love me. That's all there is.
So yes, even though it's vague and general and not very interesting, this letter goes to you for every second we spend together.
I love you.
Jenelle
Friday, October 1, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Day 23: Letter to The Last Person You Kissed
Bryan,
You are wonderful and I love you so much. You really do mean everything to me.
When you kiss me, I feel beautiful. I feel wanted and loved and amazing. I hope I can do the same for you when I kiss you. I want you to feel how handsome you are when I kiss you. I want you to feel how smart and witty and clever you are. I want you to feel how much I love you, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.
Lovingly,
Jenelle
You are wonderful and I love you so much. You really do mean everything to me.
When you kiss me, I feel beautiful. I feel wanted and loved and amazing. I hope I can do the same for you when I kiss you. I want you to feel how handsome you are when I kiss you. I want you to feel how smart and witty and clever you are. I want you to feel how much I love you, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.
Lovingly,
Jenelle
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Day 22: Letter To Someone You Want To Give A Second Chance To
Megan,
I just wrote you a letter.
Come back.
Love
Jenelle
I just wrote you a letter.
Come back.
Love
Jenelle
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
FINALLY!
I think I'm all caught up. I'll try to be more organized from now on.
I got comments saying that it's preferred that I elaborate when I can. These letters are what I'd say to these people and in general, I send them to the person. However, if you as the reader are curious, please ask about what you'd like to know. I am an open book and unless it involves someone else's secret, I will always be willing to elaborate. :)
Thank you for following me. Ironically, I made this particular blog for the things just for me, but I have another blog, http://jenelle-lynn.blogspot.com/ that is more blog-ish.
Jenelle
I got comments saying that it's preferred that I elaborate when I can. These letters are what I'd say to these people and in general, I send them to the person. However, if you as the reader are curious, please ask about what you'd like to know. I am an open book and unless it involves someone else's secret, I will always be willing to elaborate. :)
Thank you for following me. Ironically, I made this particular blog for the things just for me, but I have another blog, http://jenelle-lynn.blogspot.com/ that is more blog-ish.
Jenelle
Day 21: Someone You Judged By Their First Impression
Ruben,
Isn't it interesting to see how far we've come? When you first came to the church, I wanted you out. I truly felt like you were just an arrogant, power hungry boy, just out of high school, looking to tell others what they were doing wrong. You came in and you changed a lot of things, most of which I didn't agree with. I felt like you never asked before doing things and you didn't follow the rules.
Now, however, I actually really enjoy having you in our youth group. I don't feel any of those things anymore. Once we talked everything out and I relayed my concerns to you, you took them into consideration and changed your approach with me and some of the other youth. I like that when I talk to you, you don't throw my ideas out the window. You give them consideration and a well-thought-out answer or action.
When I need something, rather than worry about it, I know I can ask you or at least discuss it. I like that you're always busy, but never too busy for someone if they need to talk.
I don't really have much else to say. I feel like we've already been over everything. I'm glad you're at GCCC, and I hope you stay.
Jenelle
Isn't it interesting to see how far we've come? When you first came to the church, I wanted you out. I truly felt like you were just an arrogant, power hungry boy, just out of high school, looking to tell others what they were doing wrong. You came in and you changed a lot of things, most of which I didn't agree with. I felt like you never asked before doing things and you didn't follow the rules.
Now, however, I actually really enjoy having you in our youth group. I don't feel any of those things anymore. Once we talked everything out and I relayed my concerns to you, you took them into consideration and changed your approach with me and some of the other youth. I like that when I talk to you, you don't throw my ideas out the window. You give them consideration and a well-thought-out answer or action.
When I need something, rather than worry about it, I know I can ask you or at least discuss it. I like that you're always busy, but never too busy for someone if they need to talk.
I don't really have much else to say. I feel like we've already been over everything. I'm glad you're at GCCC, and I hope you stay.
Jenelle
Day 20: Letter To The One Who Broke Your Heart The Hardest
Megan,
You have always been my best friend and I keep hoping you will come back and resume your role in my life. You have always been there when I needed you and you have always loved me for who I am. You make me laugh and I never had a reason to be truly unhappy as long as you were my best friend. You helped me through the hardest two years of my life--junior high--and, in fact, every year before (first day of kindergarten friends) and most of the years after that.
I like that we never fought over a boy. We always had a crush on the same guy and never did a thing about it. We would swoon and write notes and draw pictures, just like any other "love struck" junior high girl would. We fantasized about That Guy and when he would come ask us to Be His Girlfriend. We were so ridiculous, but I loved every second of it. We spent hours being silly, making ridiculous improvs and diagrams of stupid things. Our abs were always rock solid from laughing so hard for hours and hours every single day. You and I literally lived at the other's house half the time growing up. My parents miss you as much as I do.
When you started dating Kyle, I was very upset. He is not good enough for you and I'm not just saying that because I think no one is. Of all the stupid boys you could have picked, why you picked the most ill-equipped I'll never know. And why you chose him over all your other friends, including me, I'll never understand. You took his side in everything without using that beautiful brain God gave to you. You don't see him using you or taking advantage of you. He doesn't have a job. He quit the best job he could have gotten. He's not going to a real school. He makes you drive everywhere and he makes you do all the work in the relationship. He doesn't even do cute things for you. What on earth do you see in this slob? He doesn't push you to go to church--in fact, you haven't gone once in almost a year. He doesn't push you to be a better person or see your friends. I think he's doing what Frank did to me: said "Go spend time with Megan!" but got all butthurt and lonely whenever I did, so I stopped trying with you.
You are hurting everyone around you. No one likes him. Not even his own brothers like him. Your family is breaking because he is the chisel and you keep trying to pound him into your family, thinking he'll bind everyone together instead of fracturing yourself from the rest. Your friends have holes in them from where you ripped yourself away. Every conversation we have ends up with you in it. We miss you. Come back.
I am glad to see that you are slightly coming back. Or hear, rather, for you haven't shown me this in the least. You won't really talk to me because you are too afraid of how I feel about your stupid boyfriend. I'm not going to change until he turns into the Prince Charming you deserve. If you're going to have to settle for something less, don't go all the way to the bottom and settle for a frog like him. I only say this because I love you and I want the best for you. I probably won't send this to you like I have most of the others because I have already beat this dead horse and you know exactly how I feel. I don't need to reiterate again.
I love you. I mailed you something.
Jenelle
You have always been my best friend and I keep hoping you will come back and resume your role in my life. You have always been there when I needed you and you have always loved me for who I am. You make me laugh and I never had a reason to be truly unhappy as long as you were my best friend. You helped me through the hardest two years of my life--junior high--and, in fact, every year before (first day of kindergarten friends) and most of the years after that.
I like that we never fought over a boy. We always had a crush on the same guy and never did a thing about it. We would swoon and write notes and draw pictures, just like any other "love struck" junior high girl would. We fantasized about That Guy and when he would come ask us to Be His Girlfriend. We were so ridiculous, but I loved every second of it. We spent hours being silly, making ridiculous improvs and diagrams of stupid things. Our abs were always rock solid from laughing so hard for hours and hours every single day. You and I literally lived at the other's house half the time growing up. My parents miss you as much as I do.
When you started dating Kyle, I was very upset. He is not good enough for you and I'm not just saying that because I think no one is. Of all the stupid boys you could have picked, why you picked the most ill-equipped I'll never know. And why you chose him over all your other friends, including me, I'll never understand. You took his side in everything without using that beautiful brain God gave to you. You don't see him using you or taking advantage of you. He doesn't have a job. He quit the best job he could have gotten. He's not going to a real school. He makes you drive everywhere and he makes you do all the work in the relationship. He doesn't even do cute things for you. What on earth do you see in this slob? He doesn't push you to go to church--in fact, you haven't gone once in almost a year. He doesn't push you to be a better person or see your friends. I think he's doing what Frank did to me: said "Go spend time with Megan!" but got all butthurt and lonely whenever I did, so I stopped trying with you.
You are hurting everyone around you. No one likes him. Not even his own brothers like him. Your family is breaking because he is the chisel and you keep trying to pound him into your family, thinking he'll bind everyone together instead of fracturing yourself from the rest. Your friends have holes in them from where you ripped yourself away. Every conversation we have ends up with you in it. We miss you. Come back.
I am glad to see that you are slightly coming back. Or hear, rather, for you haven't shown me this in the least. You won't really talk to me because you are too afraid of how I feel about your stupid boyfriend. I'm not going to change until he turns into the Prince Charming you deserve. If you're going to have to settle for something less, don't go all the way to the bottom and settle for a frog like him. I only say this because I love you and I want the best for you. I probably won't send this to you like I have most of the others because I have already beat this dead horse and you know exactly how I feel. I don't need to reiterate again.
I love you. I mailed you something.
Jenelle
Day 19: Letter to Someone That Pesters Your Mind—Good or Bad
Dear Mrs. Beard,
I think about you a lot. You changed my life more than anyone else in the world, let alone any teachers. I could not have asked for a better English teacher my sophomore year. The only person who competes with you for my favorite is Mr. Bogard, but you two are in such different categories you are incomparable. You made me laugh every day. You made fun of Cesar and me until we nearly wet our pants, which sticks with me even to this day. I love hanging out with you because you really did become one of my best friends for a long time.
Thank you for letting me hang out in your classroom all those days. I was in a bad place when Megan decided not to be my friend anymore and you gave me a place to go when I had none. You encouraged me when I was down, debated me whenever, and let me find answers to my own questions in my own time. You have played a huge role in guiding me to the place in which I sit today.
Thank you for teaching me so well. When I don't know what a word means, 9.5 times out of 10 I can figure it out by considering the Latin and Greek roots you taught us. They were a pain while we did them, but now they come in really handy. Thank you for making us take a critical look at literature. You trained my eye to the things I would not otherwise have seen. Not only did you prepare me for Mr. Bogard's class, you prepared me for what I hope will be my career. I want to be as good a teacher as you and I want my kids to look up to me as much as I look up to you. You inspire me to greatness.
I think about you a lot, especially when I write or consider my future. I know I'm not as good a writer as I should be, but I am much better than I would be if not for you. You kicked my butt and were a harsh critic, but I know that's only because I was/am lazy and you knew/know it. I miss seeing you and I'm sad you left the high school. I wish everything had been easier at the other one, but sometimes that's just not the way things work out. I am sorry for that. I wish I could see you more often. It's just that some of the people you hang out with make me uncomfortable. Maybe you, Cesar and I could go do something one day. I think that would be fun.
I really look up to you. I want you to know that.
Jenelle
I think about you a lot. You changed my life more than anyone else in the world, let alone any teachers. I could not have asked for a better English teacher my sophomore year. The only person who competes with you for my favorite is Mr. Bogard, but you two are in such different categories you are incomparable. You made me laugh every day. You made fun of Cesar and me until we nearly wet our pants, which sticks with me even to this day. I love hanging out with you because you really did become one of my best friends for a long time.
Thank you for letting me hang out in your classroom all those days. I was in a bad place when Megan decided not to be my friend anymore and you gave me a place to go when I had none. You encouraged me when I was down, debated me whenever, and let me find answers to my own questions in my own time. You have played a huge role in guiding me to the place in which I sit today.
Thank you for teaching me so well. When I don't know what a word means, 9.5 times out of 10 I can figure it out by considering the Latin and Greek roots you taught us. They were a pain while we did them, but now they come in really handy. Thank you for making us take a critical look at literature. You trained my eye to the things I would not otherwise have seen. Not only did you prepare me for Mr. Bogard's class, you prepared me for what I hope will be my career. I want to be as good a teacher as you and I want my kids to look up to me as much as I look up to you. You inspire me to greatness.
I think about you a lot, especially when I write or consider my future. I know I'm not as good a writer as I should be, but I am much better than I would be if not for you. You kicked my butt and were a harsh critic, but I know that's only because I was/am lazy and you knew/know it. I miss seeing you and I'm sad you left the high school. I wish everything had been easier at the other one, but sometimes that's just not the way things work out. I am sorry for that. I wish I could see you more often. It's just that some of the people you hang out with make me uncomfortable. Maybe you, Cesar and I could go do something one day. I think that would be fun.
I really look up to you. I want you to know that.
Jenelle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)