Bryan,
You are wonderful and I love you so much. You really do mean everything to me.
When you kiss me, I feel beautiful. I feel wanted and loved and amazing. I hope I can do the same for you when I kiss you. I want you to feel how handsome you are when I kiss you. I want you to feel how smart and witty and clever you are. I want you to feel how much I love you, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.
Lovingly,
Jenelle
Monday, September 6, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Day 22: Letter To Someone You Want To Give A Second Chance To
Megan,
I just wrote you a letter.
Come back.
Love
Jenelle
I just wrote you a letter.
Come back.
Love
Jenelle
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
FINALLY!
I think I'm all caught up. I'll try to be more organized from now on.
I got comments saying that it's preferred that I elaborate when I can. These letters are what I'd say to these people and in general, I send them to the person. However, if you as the reader are curious, please ask about what you'd like to know. I am an open book and unless it involves someone else's secret, I will always be willing to elaborate. :)
Thank you for following me. Ironically, I made this particular blog for the things just for me, but I have another blog, http://jenelle-lynn.blogspot.com/ that is more blog-ish.
Jenelle
I got comments saying that it's preferred that I elaborate when I can. These letters are what I'd say to these people and in general, I send them to the person. However, if you as the reader are curious, please ask about what you'd like to know. I am an open book and unless it involves someone else's secret, I will always be willing to elaborate. :)
Thank you for following me. Ironically, I made this particular blog for the things just for me, but I have another blog, http://jenelle-lynn.blogspot.com/ that is more blog-ish.
Jenelle
Day 21: Someone You Judged By Their First Impression
Ruben,
Isn't it interesting to see how far we've come? When you first came to the church, I wanted you out. I truly felt like you were just an arrogant, power hungry boy, just out of high school, looking to tell others what they were doing wrong. You came in and you changed a lot of things, most of which I didn't agree with. I felt like you never asked before doing things and you didn't follow the rules.
Now, however, I actually really enjoy having you in our youth group. I don't feel any of those things anymore. Once we talked everything out and I relayed my concerns to you, you took them into consideration and changed your approach with me and some of the other youth. I like that when I talk to you, you don't throw my ideas out the window. You give them consideration and a well-thought-out answer or action.
When I need something, rather than worry about it, I know I can ask you or at least discuss it. I like that you're always busy, but never too busy for someone if they need to talk.
I don't really have much else to say. I feel like we've already been over everything. I'm glad you're at GCCC, and I hope you stay.
Jenelle
Isn't it interesting to see how far we've come? When you first came to the church, I wanted you out. I truly felt like you were just an arrogant, power hungry boy, just out of high school, looking to tell others what they were doing wrong. You came in and you changed a lot of things, most of which I didn't agree with. I felt like you never asked before doing things and you didn't follow the rules.
Now, however, I actually really enjoy having you in our youth group. I don't feel any of those things anymore. Once we talked everything out and I relayed my concerns to you, you took them into consideration and changed your approach with me and some of the other youth. I like that when I talk to you, you don't throw my ideas out the window. You give them consideration and a well-thought-out answer or action.
When I need something, rather than worry about it, I know I can ask you or at least discuss it. I like that you're always busy, but never too busy for someone if they need to talk.
I don't really have much else to say. I feel like we've already been over everything. I'm glad you're at GCCC, and I hope you stay.
Jenelle
Day 20: Letter To The One Who Broke Your Heart The Hardest
Megan,
You have always been my best friend and I keep hoping you will come back and resume your role in my life. You have always been there when I needed you and you have always loved me for who I am. You make me laugh and I never had a reason to be truly unhappy as long as you were my best friend. You helped me through the hardest two years of my life--junior high--and, in fact, every year before (first day of kindergarten friends) and most of the years after that.
I like that we never fought over a boy. We always had a crush on the same guy and never did a thing about it. We would swoon and write notes and draw pictures, just like any other "love struck" junior high girl would. We fantasized about That Guy and when he would come ask us to Be His Girlfriend. We were so ridiculous, but I loved every second of it. We spent hours being silly, making ridiculous improvs and diagrams of stupid things. Our abs were always rock solid from laughing so hard for hours and hours every single day. You and I literally lived at the other's house half the time growing up. My parents miss you as much as I do.
When you started dating Kyle, I was very upset. He is not good enough for you and I'm not just saying that because I think no one is. Of all the stupid boys you could have picked, why you picked the most ill-equipped I'll never know. And why you chose him over all your other friends, including me, I'll never understand. You took his side in everything without using that beautiful brain God gave to you. You don't see him using you or taking advantage of you. He doesn't have a job. He quit the best job he could have gotten. He's not going to a real school. He makes you drive everywhere and he makes you do all the work in the relationship. He doesn't even do cute things for you. What on earth do you see in this slob? He doesn't push you to go to church--in fact, you haven't gone once in almost a year. He doesn't push you to be a better person or see your friends. I think he's doing what Frank did to me: said "Go spend time with Megan!" but got all butthurt and lonely whenever I did, so I stopped trying with you.
You are hurting everyone around you. No one likes him. Not even his own brothers like him. Your family is breaking because he is the chisel and you keep trying to pound him into your family, thinking he'll bind everyone together instead of fracturing yourself from the rest. Your friends have holes in them from where you ripped yourself away. Every conversation we have ends up with you in it. We miss you. Come back.
I am glad to see that you are slightly coming back. Or hear, rather, for you haven't shown me this in the least. You won't really talk to me because you are too afraid of how I feel about your stupid boyfriend. I'm not going to change until he turns into the Prince Charming you deserve. If you're going to have to settle for something less, don't go all the way to the bottom and settle for a frog like him. I only say this because I love you and I want the best for you. I probably won't send this to you like I have most of the others because I have already beat this dead horse and you know exactly how I feel. I don't need to reiterate again.
I love you. I mailed you something.
Jenelle
You have always been my best friend and I keep hoping you will come back and resume your role in my life. You have always been there when I needed you and you have always loved me for who I am. You make me laugh and I never had a reason to be truly unhappy as long as you were my best friend. You helped me through the hardest two years of my life--junior high--and, in fact, every year before (first day of kindergarten friends) and most of the years after that.
I like that we never fought over a boy. We always had a crush on the same guy and never did a thing about it. We would swoon and write notes and draw pictures, just like any other "love struck" junior high girl would. We fantasized about That Guy and when he would come ask us to Be His Girlfriend. We were so ridiculous, but I loved every second of it. We spent hours being silly, making ridiculous improvs and diagrams of stupid things. Our abs were always rock solid from laughing so hard for hours and hours every single day. You and I literally lived at the other's house half the time growing up. My parents miss you as much as I do.
When you started dating Kyle, I was very upset. He is not good enough for you and I'm not just saying that because I think no one is. Of all the stupid boys you could have picked, why you picked the most ill-equipped I'll never know. And why you chose him over all your other friends, including me, I'll never understand. You took his side in everything without using that beautiful brain God gave to you. You don't see him using you or taking advantage of you. He doesn't have a job. He quit the best job he could have gotten. He's not going to a real school. He makes you drive everywhere and he makes you do all the work in the relationship. He doesn't even do cute things for you. What on earth do you see in this slob? He doesn't push you to go to church--in fact, you haven't gone once in almost a year. He doesn't push you to be a better person or see your friends. I think he's doing what Frank did to me: said "Go spend time with Megan!" but got all butthurt and lonely whenever I did, so I stopped trying with you.
You are hurting everyone around you. No one likes him. Not even his own brothers like him. Your family is breaking because he is the chisel and you keep trying to pound him into your family, thinking he'll bind everyone together instead of fracturing yourself from the rest. Your friends have holes in them from where you ripped yourself away. Every conversation we have ends up with you in it. We miss you. Come back.
I am glad to see that you are slightly coming back. Or hear, rather, for you haven't shown me this in the least. You won't really talk to me because you are too afraid of how I feel about your stupid boyfriend. I'm not going to change until he turns into the Prince Charming you deserve. If you're going to have to settle for something less, don't go all the way to the bottom and settle for a frog like him. I only say this because I love you and I want the best for you. I probably won't send this to you like I have most of the others because I have already beat this dead horse and you know exactly how I feel. I don't need to reiterate again.
I love you. I mailed you something.
Jenelle
Day 19: Letter to Someone That Pesters Your Mind—Good or Bad
Dear Mrs. Beard,
I think about you a lot. You changed my life more than anyone else in the world, let alone any teachers. I could not have asked for a better English teacher my sophomore year. The only person who competes with you for my favorite is Mr. Bogard, but you two are in such different categories you are incomparable. You made me laugh every day. You made fun of Cesar and me until we nearly wet our pants, which sticks with me even to this day. I love hanging out with you because you really did become one of my best friends for a long time.
Thank you for letting me hang out in your classroom all those days. I was in a bad place when Megan decided not to be my friend anymore and you gave me a place to go when I had none. You encouraged me when I was down, debated me whenever, and let me find answers to my own questions in my own time. You have played a huge role in guiding me to the place in which I sit today.
Thank you for teaching me so well. When I don't know what a word means, 9.5 times out of 10 I can figure it out by considering the Latin and Greek roots you taught us. They were a pain while we did them, but now they come in really handy. Thank you for making us take a critical look at literature. You trained my eye to the things I would not otherwise have seen. Not only did you prepare me for Mr. Bogard's class, you prepared me for what I hope will be my career. I want to be as good a teacher as you and I want my kids to look up to me as much as I look up to you. You inspire me to greatness.
I think about you a lot, especially when I write or consider my future. I know I'm not as good a writer as I should be, but I am much better than I would be if not for you. You kicked my butt and were a harsh critic, but I know that's only because I was/am lazy and you knew/know it. I miss seeing you and I'm sad you left the high school. I wish everything had been easier at the other one, but sometimes that's just not the way things work out. I am sorry for that. I wish I could see you more often. It's just that some of the people you hang out with make me uncomfortable. Maybe you, Cesar and I could go do something one day. I think that would be fun.
I really look up to you. I want you to know that.
Jenelle
I think about you a lot. You changed my life more than anyone else in the world, let alone any teachers. I could not have asked for a better English teacher my sophomore year. The only person who competes with you for my favorite is Mr. Bogard, but you two are in such different categories you are incomparable. You made me laugh every day. You made fun of Cesar and me until we nearly wet our pants, which sticks with me even to this day. I love hanging out with you because you really did become one of my best friends for a long time.
Thank you for letting me hang out in your classroom all those days. I was in a bad place when Megan decided not to be my friend anymore and you gave me a place to go when I had none. You encouraged me when I was down, debated me whenever, and let me find answers to my own questions in my own time. You have played a huge role in guiding me to the place in which I sit today.
Thank you for teaching me so well. When I don't know what a word means, 9.5 times out of 10 I can figure it out by considering the Latin and Greek roots you taught us. They were a pain while we did them, but now they come in really handy. Thank you for making us take a critical look at literature. You trained my eye to the things I would not otherwise have seen. Not only did you prepare me for Mr. Bogard's class, you prepared me for what I hope will be my career. I want to be as good a teacher as you and I want my kids to look up to me as much as I look up to you. You inspire me to greatness.
I think about you a lot, especially when I write or consider my future. I know I'm not as good a writer as I should be, but I am much better than I would be if not for you. You kicked my butt and were a harsh critic, but I know that's only because I was/am lazy and you knew/know it. I miss seeing you and I'm sad you left the high school. I wish everything had been easier at the other one, but sometimes that's just not the way things work out. I am sorry for that. I wish I could see you more often. It's just that some of the people you hang out with make me uncomfortable. Maybe you, Cesar and I could go do something one day. I think that would be fun.
I really look up to you. I want you to know that.
Jenelle
Day 18: Letter to the Person You Wish You Could Be
Jill,
I'll bet you didn't think I'd choose you for this letter, but that's too dang bad. I have always sort of wanted to be like you. You're caring and loving. You're more confident than I am and more comfortable being affectionate. Mom has always liked you and so has everyone else. I am sorry I was mean to you. I don't know how many times I'll need to say that, but I mean it every time.
You are so talented. You can sing and dance and take awesome pictures. You are amazing on both sides of the camera, in fact. You aren't afraid to try new things and you don't mind having to work to learn about the things you like.
You are beautiful. You have a beautiful face and a lovely figure. You can pull off a lot of different styles and you are good at choosing clothes that flatter you. You follow trends and are girly, but not so girly that you can't go hiking or something adventurous.
You are very encouraging. I know that if I'm having a crappy day I can talk to you and you'll make me feel better. In that way I sometimes feel like you are the older sister. You know what to say to make me happy, but also to keep me realistic. You put up with me when I feel like pestering you and you pester me when you know I feel like playing (secretly), like in Yosemite. You cracked me up. I loved making inappropriate shadow puppets with you, haha. And gassing you out of the tent (almost ;) ). You color My Little Ponies with me and you help me with my insecurities at the same time. I like that.
I hope this year is really good for you. I know you sort of look up to me, but you also have to be open to the fact that I'm not perfect. However, learn from as many of my mistakes as you can. Trust me, it saves a lot of trouble.
Jenelle
I'll bet you didn't think I'd choose you for this letter, but that's too dang bad. I have always sort of wanted to be like you. You're caring and loving. You're more confident than I am and more comfortable being affectionate. Mom has always liked you and so has everyone else. I am sorry I was mean to you. I don't know how many times I'll need to say that, but I mean it every time.
You are so talented. You can sing and dance and take awesome pictures. You are amazing on both sides of the camera, in fact. You aren't afraid to try new things and you don't mind having to work to learn about the things you like.
You are beautiful. You have a beautiful face and a lovely figure. You can pull off a lot of different styles and you are good at choosing clothes that flatter you. You follow trends and are girly, but not so girly that you can't go hiking or something adventurous.
You are very encouraging. I know that if I'm having a crappy day I can talk to you and you'll make me feel better. In that way I sometimes feel like you are the older sister. You know what to say to make me happy, but also to keep me realistic. You put up with me when I feel like pestering you and you pester me when you know I feel like playing (secretly), like in Yosemite. You cracked me up. I loved making inappropriate shadow puppets with you, haha. And gassing you out of the tent (almost ;) ). You color My Little Ponies with me and you help me with my insecurities at the same time. I like that.
I hope this year is really good for you. I know you sort of look up to me, but you also have to be open to the fact that I'm not perfect. However, learn from as many of my mistakes as you can. Trust me, it saves a lot of trouble.
Jenelle
Day 17: Letter To Someone From Your Childhood
Destinee,
We have been neighbors since forever. I was four when you moved in across the street and we were always "sort-of-friends". I have always been a little uncomfortable around you because you have always been so much more outgoing than I am. You were not adverse to kissing my cheek or yelling when you got excited, things which I was never fully comfortable with. You were slightly gullible and very high-maintenance growing up. You believed in Santa Clause, which, of course, most kids do. I was one of those horrible children who tell kids like you the truth about Santa.
We grew up and apart, naturally. There was never a falling-out of any kind or anything. In fact, I wish you no ill-will at all. I think you are neat and beautiful and very adventurous, all wonderful qualities. I just believe that we were always meant to be "sort-of-friends" and nothing more.
While you dated my cousin, I always felt ambivalent about it. I thought you two were good for each other, but I also felt a little trepidation at where you guys would go relationship-wise. Would you have sex? Would you be engaged? Would you get married? Thankfully, you didn't get any farther than sex (which was too far in my opinion) and sadly broke up. I don't know why you did, but I think it was mostly for the better.
Now, though, I don't know what happened to you. All of a sudden I am hearing these things about you that are so unbelievable I can't even listen. I won't bring it up with you because it isn't any of my business anymore, but I really hope they aren't true. I want you to be little Destinee who fights with me over Nick Carter or the little Destinee who falls off her bike and bleeds all over my house. I don't want you to be the Destinee I hear about.
You are a bright, shining person. You have always had the ability and the drive to go to college and succeed and I truly hope you do. You can pretty much write your own ticket if you ever figure your stuff out. I hope you do. I really do.
If you need anything, give me a call.
Jenelle
We have been neighbors since forever. I was four when you moved in across the street and we were always "sort-of-friends". I have always been a little uncomfortable around you because you have always been so much more outgoing than I am. You were not adverse to kissing my cheek or yelling when you got excited, things which I was never fully comfortable with. You were slightly gullible and very high-maintenance growing up. You believed in Santa Clause, which, of course, most kids do. I was one of those horrible children who tell kids like you the truth about Santa.
We grew up and apart, naturally. There was never a falling-out of any kind or anything. In fact, I wish you no ill-will at all. I think you are neat and beautiful and very adventurous, all wonderful qualities. I just believe that we were always meant to be "sort-of-friends" and nothing more.
While you dated my cousin, I always felt ambivalent about it. I thought you two were good for each other, but I also felt a little trepidation at where you guys would go relationship-wise. Would you have sex? Would you be engaged? Would you get married? Thankfully, you didn't get any farther than sex (which was too far in my opinion) and sadly broke up. I don't know why you did, but I think it was mostly for the better.
Now, though, I don't know what happened to you. All of a sudden I am hearing these things about you that are so unbelievable I can't even listen. I won't bring it up with you because it isn't any of my business anymore, but I really hope they aren't true. I want you to be little Destinee who fights with me over Nick Carter or the little Destinee who falls off her bike and bleeds all over my house. I don't want you to be the Destinee I hear about.
You are a bright, shining person. You have always had the ability and the drive to go to college and succeed and I truly hope you do. You can pretty much write your own ticket if you ever figure your stuff out. I hope you do. I really do.
If you need anything, give me a call.
Jenelle
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